July 26, 2016

Being me sucks sometimes. Mainly when it comes to how I handle stress.  Basically the whole fact that I cant.  So my body goes nuts with any stress and I cannot do what other people do to deal with stress.  Normal people can go workout, go walk, go have a drink, smoke, anything really, I can’t.  Which means that I am stuck in my own head with all the stress making it worse.  So then, my body crashes.


Instead, tonight, after a super shitty day, (basically that the house we liked didn’t pass inspection, that the county didn’t get the entire fax I sent which caused me to not have insurance all month WITHOUT ME KNOWING) so, I am sitting here with impending homelessness (we’ve sold our townhouse!) and partially insurance less… which, ya know, being me, is a big deal.  I am going to get a ginormous bill for all my meds, services and other things…joy. I. Cant. Wait.  Literally, last month they paid out $23,000 so I expect that as a bill…can I fight it? I hope so.  Otherwise IDK what I will do. 


So, I sit here.  I cant drink.  Even when I could, I didn’t really drink a ton, I went out a lot, partied all the time, but I didn’t drink much.  I could really use a nice stiff beverage.  It would darn near kill me if I did though, so that’s not an option.  I wish I could lace up my shoes and go run, that too is a big giant “nope.”  I cant even stuff my face with processed foods or candy! 


LOL!  I am literally over here complaining about how I cant do unhealthy htings!  How ridiculous am i?  Even just writing this blog post helped me relax a bit.  It is really stressful to think that one person controls your finances and if they don’t do their job correctly it will literally set you up for financial ruin.  That is horrible.  I need to figure out how to change the system of how it works at the governmental level, but I cant, I am just Elle.  I cant even work through my stress of today let alone take on the United States government!  OYE!

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