Being me sucks sometimes. Mainly when it comes to how I handle stress. Basically the whole fact that I cant. So my body goes nuts with any stress and I cannot do what other people do to deal with stress. Normal people can go workout, go walk, go have a drink, smoke, anything really, I can’t. Which means that I am stuck in my own head with all the stress making it worse. So then, my body crashes.
Instead, tonight, after a super shitty day, (basically that the house we liked didn’t pass inspection, that the county didn’t get the entire fax I sent which caused me to not have insurance all month WITHOUT ME KNOWING) so, I am sitting here with impending homelessness (we’ve sold our townhouse!) and partially insurance less… which, ya know, being me, is a big deal. I am going to get a ginormous bill for all my meds, services and other things…joy. I. Cant. Wait. Literally, last month they paid out $23,000 so I expect that as a bill…can I fight it? I hope so. Otherwise IDK what I will do.
So, I sit here. I cant drink. Even when I could, I didn’t really drink a ton, I went out a lot, partied all the time, but I didn’t drink much. I could really use a nice stiff beverage. It would darn near kill me if I did though, so that’s not an option. I wish I could lace up my shoes and go run, that too is a big giant “nope.” I cant even stuff my face with processed foods or candy!
LOL! I am literally over here complaining about how I cant do unhealthy htings! How ridiculous am i? Even just writing this blog post helped me relax a bit. It is really stressful to think that one person controls your finances and if they don’t do their job correctly it will literally set you up for financial ruin. That is horrible. I need to figure out how to change the system of how it works at the governmental level, but I cant, I am just Elle. I cant even work through my stress of today let alone take on the United States government! OYE!