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Pain is something I deal with regularly but since the reaction to the medication, my pain is at a steady whole new level of hellish. My primary care doctor is wonderful. He is incredibly intelligent and thinks outside the box. I have been with him now for darn near a decade and he is always researching and looking things up and trying to help me maintain some sort of regular life.

I went to see him today, like usual I had a list of things ready to discuss, because sadly when you’re chronically ill you have more than one issue each time you go to the doctor…even though I saw him last week.

I’m blogging about this today because I am surprised at the world. So in today’s society everyone is so worried about prescription pain medication addiction and abuse. I cannot take most meds because I have allergic reactions to them and a lot of pain meds make me vomit. Which leaves me little options. The oddity is this, in a world in which prescription pain med abuse is rampant, how the hell is it that THERE IS NOT OTHER OPTION for pain relief than opioids?!

I have tried to get lidocane patches THREE times this year for spine and back pain. EACH TIME I have been DENIED. They say that they will only pay for the lidocane if I had diabetic neuropathy, which thankfully I DON’T HAVE.

So, alas, here I am stuck with either having extreme pain in my entire body down to my bones OR take a narcotic. Thankfully I do have ONE medication that doesn’t make me vomit (it does make me nauseated but so far I haven’t puked.)

The world needs to come up with a better option. I don’t want to be on a medication that my body or mind could get addicted to so easily. That makes me nervous. I just am uneasy about that. I know what people will say, I wont get addicted, I am not the person to abuse meds, and they’re right I’m not, but what about the million other people in my same shoes dealing with chronic intense pain? Why is it that insurance wont pay for something else? They will gladly pay for narcotics but a simple lidocane patch is denied for EVERY OTHER CONDITION but one?!

I just want pain relief. I want to live. I want a better standard of living day to day. I want to do more than just make it through the day. I took the damn medicine today. I gave in; I can’t sit here so uncomfortable. Now, I am groggy and nauseated…

Life. Gotta love it.