sadness.
My heart hurts. Maybe its because I am disabled and isolated from the world most of the time, but humanity is just upsetting sometimes. Today is Memorial Day; a day that as a family we have gotten together most years and for sure a day that we go to my grandfathers’ graves. It is a day that means a lot, as my grandfather was a veteran.
My grandmother made a reservation to go to lunch as a big family last week. Everyone had said yes and yet this morning she called me to tell me EVERYONE canceled on her. The part that hurts my heart is that I too had to cancel because I am too sick to go out to eat. My heart hurts because there is no solid reason that the healthy members of the family couldn’t take one hour out of their day to go sit down and eat as a family. That is what is wrong with the US today. Everyone is so busy with their own lives, thinking that their issues are more important than sitting down and connecting as a family unit. Were losing what is important! FAMILY!!
Let me mention, in the past I have pushed myself to attend each family lunch no matter how I am feeling because I know that it is important in my own heart to see them and that out weighs however long it may take me to recover. Today, I just cant. I am already recovering from leaving the house earlier this week and my stomach is being extra sensitive.
I should note, there are always a few that just blow off family lunch like its no big deal. Let me explain people, sometimes family lunch is the ONLY time all week I will see people other than my dogs and Joshua. It is the same for my Grandmother. I swear my family forgets where they came from and how much she did for them and the idea that they cannot press pause on their lives to sit at a table and eat a meal breaks my heart.
Family lunch is the only time I see my cousins and get to see how much they’ve grown and catch up with what they are doing at school. Granted, their electronics are usually stuck in their faces and I have to pull out conversation like a dentist pulls a molar, but still, I get to see them and watch them grow.
So- maybe its because I don’t feel well at all today or maybe its just my bottled up feelings flowing through this keyboard but I think its shitty that they couldn’t stop today and simply sit at a FREE meal.
OK, Ask me, “Maybe they had big other plans?”…Then ask me how old my grandmother is AND her sister who is like a second grandmother to me (and more than an aunt to everyone else)…add in that I could also flop over at any time…how many more family lunches are we promised??!?! ….I’m done. I am so sad; my heart is just bleeding sadness.
Id also love to add in that none of these people other than my parents come and visit my townhouse or check on me, it’s ok, I don’t need them to, but still, they are blood relatives and some live less than 4 miles away. So carry on with your busy lives and just remember that yeah it may be a little inconvenient to you to stop what you are doing and share a meal with someone, but dammit that meal might be mean a hell of a lot more than just food to those you sit with.
