stop complaining ELLE!

Ok, let me talk about something no one ever want to talk about, finances. I am sure some of you all look at me and think how awesome it must be that I get to stay home all day everyday…let me break it down for you…

I “earn” very little off disability a month. $104 goes to Medicare, $105 goes to for part D insurance, and then I pay the state $57 a month for Medicaid. This is just health insurance mind you, which being disabled for medical reasons is incredibly important.

Why am I talking finances you might ask? I am STILL complaining about having to pay for my compounded meds. So this is the issue…

Medicare federally has a law that prevents it from paying for compounded medication. That should be ok considering that Medicare doesn’t pay for my prescriptions, AH but wrong. Medicare is listed and by default is my primary insurance. My secondary and third insurances can deny paying for my meds because my primary insurer refuses. SO, it’s like a never-ending circle of hell, which leaves me in debt and broke.

As if I wasn’t broke enough, now I get to carry a credit card just to pay for my meds. Whoo hoo, I am so happy I am disabled. I am so lucky. I just cant believe how completely full of luck I am that I have not one, not two but three wonderful diseases to which have no cure and the treatment of will leave me either dead, sicker or completely financially ruined. Sweet.

OK, sorry enough sarcasm and complaints. I must make a plan and figure out how I can fix this. I am not a quitter and I refuse to give up on myself now. I need to make sure that I Can live as long as possible and that means doing whatever the doctors say and tell me to. No matter the cost I cannot put a cost on life. I want to live!

Life isn’t fair. Everyone has some sort of shit that they ar4e battling through and mine just happens to be my health. It isn’t fair that I feel like crap everyday but the world isn’t fair. IF I feel bad for myself all I need to do is open a news paper or turn on the TV and I will see hundreds of stories filled with people who are in much worse situations than myself. Life sucks. Then we die. I must make the most out of it while I can.

So what is my plan going to be? I need to figure out how to earn about $600 more a month. Considering I cant stand up I cant dance and be a stripper, ha ha-ha, I cant do anything that uses my brain because it is basically fried from concussions and law enforcement is out due to my lack of drivers license, ohh man I make myself laugh so hard. I wish.

Can you picture that? Officer Elle? Stop put your hands…. (as I pass out onto the ground and the criminal flees…) ha ha!

I will say I am really grateful that I have the personality I have and that I am able to laugh and make jokes about the stuff that is so ridiculous in my life.

I got up this morning and did my hair and actually put makeup on. I am still wearing my usual outfits but I look good and dammit people think I’m healthy! Hurrah to that. That amigos is amazing. It’s a skill to be so sick but look so well. ;)

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