someday I too will rise.

I get scared. Can I admit that? When things happen for the first time, I get scared. Yesterday was one of those days. I was sitting talking to my dad on the phone and my bottom lip began to go numb. By noon my whole left side of my face was numb and tingling and so was my left forearm and pointer finger. My mom assured me I would be fine but it seriously is one of the most annoying medical things that have happened to me thus far. It feels like I went to the dentist and he injected my face with nova Caine and its wearing off.

The nurse care line said is a sign of a stroke and that I should call 911. I don’t call 911. Lol. So Joshua drove me to hospital. 8 hours later I was no closer to any answer and was starving and dehydrated. I was so frustrated, confused and still scared.

They needed an MRI but apparently the university hospital cannot do them on the weekend because I have a pacemaker (which is MRI compatible) and they made a big deal about it. So, who knows, stroke, pinched nerve, mast cells, who has any idea, obviously not the doctor at the U ER. LOL.

Frustratingly she let me go and said I need an MRI immediately Monday. Ok. So, here I sit, face a bit swollen on the left side, tingly and annoying. Joy. Happy Easter.

Today I am so tired I may not change out of my robe. I may not even bathe, I have zero, none, zippo energy to do a darn thing. I missed Easter breakfast with the fam, and am supposed to have late lunch at the in-laws…

I want to crawl into a cocoon and rest for years. I feel that tired inside my body. My body aches, I have a headache and I can’t feel my face. All I can do is lay here and laugh at myself singing the song “I cant feel my face when I’m with you” LOL

I must be happy today deep within myself because today is the day He rose. I though much less influential will also rise again someday and that day will be amazing.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KEI4qSrkPAs

so, I think it is ok to be scared sometimes.