waiting game

Been going through it. Thankfully my family is by my side. I have surgery this coming Friday to remove the tumor in my left breast. It's hard to stay strong. This is like the straw that broke the camels back. I don't know why this year I've been having such a hard time staying positive about my pots but I have and unfortunately now this breast tumor has just kind of put me over the edge. I used to be so happy and positive and nothing could make me cry but the last couple of days all I've done is choke back tears. I'm Tired. My heart goes out to absolutely anyone else who is struggling with anything. all I know is that I want this tumor out of me and I want to know if it's cancer or if it's not. Every time I pass out, I open my eyes and lately I've been thinking to myself "great I've woken back up into this hell I live." My life is amazing I have the most wonderful man in the entire world and my parents and my grandma and his mom are fantastic but my health sucks. I am ready for Christmas, I am ready for surgery, I am ready to be whole again.