Sunday Funday...

My question today is which makes people move faster...a dog puking or gun shots? At my house thankfully I am not 100% sure- but the puking made Josh and I move pretty quickly a few times in the middle of the night. Poor Josh. It's just a prime example of everything he has to do that I can not. I can't jump out of bed in the middle of the night for any reason because if I did, well, I would land flat on my face, unconscious. So- I wake up to the glorious noise of Lola sick and I panic and wake Sir Josh- he then bolts out of bed and takes her outside. I was able to clean up the mess on my hands and knees, but it's just another example of things that are just a little more difficult for us than the average couple. Not only is Lola puking (she's puked 4+ times today) but Penny has some sort of ear infection situation. She keeps itching her ear and shaking her head and when she does she cries. Luckily this isn't anything new and we have medicine in our stock pile for her....she's just about as sickly as I am... Yesterday I was thinking back to when we first started dating and I was so healthy. Well, I mean I was still sick but no where near my current situations. It's crazy that he has really been by my side through thick and thin, we just make it work. I am so lucky. He literally does everything for me. I sometimes feel like I am not worthy. He literally NEVER COMPLAINS...well, I think he did complain once the day my colon tried to die...explosively. It's been 3.5 years since I've been in charge of a classroom....makes me so sad...but there's no way I could do it. I'm just too damn sick. That infuriates me. That's the one thing that makes me question my true existence, but then I must remember perhaps I am meant to teach on a larger scale....teach people to be understanding and compassionate to those who are invisibly ill. I'm questioning the steroid shots I got in my hips. They have made the pain increase and now my whole right leg and lower back is horribly painful. I don't know. I try not to blame myself for added issues. I try to keep my body moving as much as possible. I bike 75 minutes each day for the whole physical therapy aspect, I try to make myself walk when able, and I eat pretty well...minus that cake I ate last week ;). I told my dr two weeks ago sometimes I feel like I am crazy. I feel like maybe it's all in my head and I am really ok...ha. Sadly this isn't true. I stand up and kaboom. He laughed at me. He knows me very well thankfully and knows my psyche is totally fine. So, while my body is screaming at me, my fingers and toes are ice and white and my stupid heart and brain argue, my actual mental status is ok. Lol. At least that's something positive

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