Survival.
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It has been an intense ride. This last month has perhaps been the hardest in my life thus far, which is really saying something considering all the craziness I have been through in my 33 years. We have had to make a lot of life adjustments and tweaks to keep me alive and kicking. I am so blessed to have family that is not only capable but also willing to take the time to care for me and help me accomplish even life’s littlest tasks.
My IV/PICC line is going well. Josh and I are able to flush and change my meds each day. It helps majorly, I have not gone anaphylactic nor needed an epi pen since its install. I press the button to deliver extra meds when I get a headache, get hives or have any other symptoms. It works. It is annoying as all get out but it is working and I am alive.
We moved successfully and after staying at my parents for about 2 weeks I am finally back to living with Josh like a real adult. Our house is a chaotic mess. We not only haven’t unpacked but literally each room in the house needs every inch of it remodeled and so we are living in a construction zone…
Going from hospital to construction zone has been stressful. Thankfully I have a nurse that comes out twice a week to do bandage changes and such and I have a physical Therapist who is seriously amazing. I am exhausted and my body has a fatigue level that is frustrating, but I am going to get back to where I was…I promise myself!
I am weak and tired. I guess that is what is expected but I hate it. I am a ball of puffy prednisone mess that has the energy of a sloth on ambien. The meds have my face looking like I'm a chubby 13 year old going through puberty. I cant sleep much at night and my whole body aches and ankles and knees scream at me when I take weight off them. Its weird you would think it would be the opposite, but nope, they hurt when they are not moving.
Josh has been amazing like usual BUT sadly he got a man cold from all the stress. Now, I know what you’re thinking, did he live through it? YEP. He is. Barely. In all seriousness it is incredibly unnerving to see him sick and not feeling well. He is NEVER ill and so when he does get sick it breaks my heart. He has spent a good 3 days laying low and trying to recover, it
seems to have moved into his chest now so we are monitoring it to make sure it doesn’t get worse. I just feel so bad for my baby…he is really pathetic when he is sick. I guess all men are.
I need to thank my parents and Joshua’s mom for everything they have done in the last 3 weeks. There is absolutely no way we would have been able to pull off this chaos without their help. I would have died for sure. Literally.
I have been semi-absent from social media and the computer in general, I’ve just been trying to stay alive. Legitimately. It’s been really rough over here and for me to admit that is pretty huge.
The dogs seem to like having a real yard again, I am ready for it to get fenced so it’ll be simple to keep them contained…they listen really well and don’t leave the yard but since its not fenced yet I have to watch them when they go out.
LIFE PLAN? So, today…I will survive. If I can accomplish anything on top of that I will consider life a complete win today.
I hope everyone else is doing well and focusing on the good in this world. My best friend had his baby and while I struggle to keep feet on this earth I am over the moon that a new little angel is here to help make this world a better place. She has a lot of weight on her shoulders…and so many that love her. J
