I started taking steroids last week and thanks be to JESUS I am human again. I was so sickly; I thought for sure I was going to die. I felt like death. I was getting so frustrated that I couldn’t properly explain to my docs how horrible I was feeling, and that there wasn’t anything being done. I am still exhausted at the end of a day and after about 5pm I am still useless BUT the last 3 days I have actually been able to live the first part of the day.
Though I have already gained about 5lbs of water weight from the steroids, I have to keep telling myself that I choose to be human over being gorgeous. Sure, when I was at deaths door I was thin and at my desired weight…but, I couldn’t even sit up. LOL. I might turn into a big giant ball, but at least I will feel like a human being.
Over the last 3 days I have been able to sit up out of bed! I have been able to get my own mail, roll myself around and I even spent the night over at mom and dads. I am so lucky to have them in my life; I don’t know what I would do without them.
Last night was the 4h of July and I am officially that crotchety adult that hates the holiday. I just am not a fan. I hate fire. I hate sparks. I hate loud noises. MOSTLY though, I hate how Lola turns into a complete neurotic mess and how even 4mg of Xanax didn’t keep her from damn near having a heart attack each time she heard a boom. She ran into the screen door and currently looks like she was in a fight, and lost. My poor pup. Every year we go through this, you would think after 11 years she would realize the world is NOT ending. WELL, needless to say, she is tired today because she was up ALL night barking, shaking and acting completely insane. Poor girl.
So friends, maybe someday soon I will leave my house again and be social, until then I am going to keep pushing on and trying to remain the positive ray of sunshine I try to be. J