The ER is useless for us chronically ill folks.

WHY CANT ER EVER DO SHIT?!

Hard few days.

Fell and went kaboom UP the stairs and although I passed out and fell upwards, I still ended up at the bottom…I don’t bounce. Pain. Lots of Pain. I have felt like death (not even just saying that, I literally feel completely worn out and that any of my breaths could be the last) the past few weeks and drs have NOT helped which is killing me more. I am so sad inside that there isn’t even something to make me temporarily feel better.

So because of the stairs incident and me not being able to keep a steady blood pressure (it goes from 80/50 to 198/92 without reason) I went to ER yesterday. HA. They made sure my brain wasn’t bleeding and that my neck wasn’t broken and sent me home. Still feeling like shit. While I was there they gave me a muscle relaxant that I reacted badly to which gave me body rigor and muscle spasms…it was horrific.

So here I am. TIRED. PAINFUL. EXHAUTED. And still losing consciousness constantly. I don’t understand why my pacemaker isn’t helping….I need something, maybe meth, I don’t know. I am kidding, I’d never do drugs but man, I am at my last straw. Medicine is not helpful and I just wish I could get locked in a hospital, poke, prodded and examined until they found the source of my misery. I AM MISERABLE. I just want to scream and cry, but am literally too tire to even attempt it.

So, if you read this, just shoot up a prayer that somehow some day soon I get a little relief.

Thanks for listening to me complain. I hate being a Debby-downer but if you saw me, you’d see, I am living miserable death.