January 31, 2016

Everybody has a “dad.”  In the magic of life the process cannot be completed without male involvement.  Even those that have never met their paternal half, the guy in general still exists.  The thing about life is that while everyone born has a “dad,” not everyone has a father.

            I am lucky to have both. My dad, the man who provided the sperm to the egg that created me, is also the man who has raised me, cared for me, and to this day handles life’s hardest battles with me. My father is an amazing man.

            My father has worked his whole life to provide for his family.   Since the day he became a dad he has put his needs and...

January 31, 2016

Mast Cell Disease


I have Mast Cell Activation Syndrome.  That means many different things and is really different for everyone who has the disease.  I will tell you my personal experience, while I know that many others have completely different triggers and life modifications than I.


I had bad allergies as a kid.  I was crushed when I had to get rid of my stuffed animals because they flared my allergies…that’s all we thought it was.  Allergies.  I had food limitations and we didn’t really call them allergies, we just knew there were things that if I ate them I would get sick. As I grew I broke a lot of bones, was sick all the time and eventually had a 15lb tumor on my ovary.   I didn’t know li...

January 31, 2016

Dear Insurance Companies,


I am disabled.  What does that mean?  That means that the government has ruled me to be too sick to work a job.  I have gone through a strict process and filed many, many, many documents and medical files proving my illness.  I am dependent on others to care for me and I rely on many different medications to keep me alive.  I know I am sick and therefore I carry THREE medical insurance policies.


I am on Medicare.  I pay $104 a month for that premium.  That’s great and covers most things IF I AM HOSPITALIZED.  


I am on Medical Assistance.  I make very little monthly via my social security disability check and therefore receive assistance throug...

January 31, 2016



I am a 33 year old disabled inner city high school teacher turned public speaker and spokes model.  I spend 99% of my time in my bed or on my couch looking out into the world via cold snowy window in Minnesota.  I love my dogs, family and trashy reality TV. I am chronically ill AND chronically fabulous.




15 years of (H)Elle.


I’m living.

Its not cancer.  Its never cancer. I didn’t expect to live this life. When you graduate high school they ask you to write an essay of where you see yourself in 10 years…my dreams never included my reality.  My essays never spoke of what my true existence is.  To be honest, I am surviving; I am not living.


I am Elle

…and, I’m sickly.

My essays never in...

January 31, 2016

I am so sorry I've taken such a long pause in updating my blog.  I have been incredibly ill and struggling to make it day to day.  I am still alive though and kicking and refuse to be defeated!

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